How to Give Face Sitting So Good She Never Wants to Get Up

By Annette Benedetti, Sex & Intimacy Coach, Host of Talk Sex with Annette

If you want to know how to give face sitting that makes your partner climb on again and again, the secret isn’t holding still and hoping — it’s what you do underneath. Everybody assumes the person on top has all the power, and it’s true, she’s on the throne. But done right, the partner flat on his back is the reason she chooses to sit that throne night after night.

Face sitting is the single hottest position you have access to: when she’s up there, you get better access, a better angle, and all of her movement telling you exactly what she wants. This face-sitting guide is the giver’s masterclass: five moves, plus setup, positions, and toys, that make you so good underneath she never wants to get up.

(For the other side of the throne, send your partner my companion guide on how to sit on a face like you mean it.)

Please login for access. Login

What Is Face Sitting (Queening)?

Face sitting — also called queening — is a form of oral sex where, instead of you going down on her, she climbs up and lowers herself onto your mouth, straddling your face so you can pleasure her from underneath. She’s on top, you’re on your back. That flip is the whole thing.

And face sitting isn’t just regular oral with the furniture rearranged. In regular oral, you’re in charge — you choose the spot, the pressure, the rhythm, and she’s along for the ride hoping you land on the right thing. Face sitting flips that completely: now she controls the angle, grinding exactly where and how she needs it, and you become the surface she uses to get herself off.

That’s also why so many women finish from face sitting when they struggle to finish from regular oral — nobody has to find the spot, because she’s putting it exactly where she wants it.

Why Face Sitting Feels So Good (for Both of You)

Three things happen at once, and together they make face sitting one of the most intense things in the bedroom:

The power exchange. For a woman who spends all day being accommodating, climbing on top and taking her pleasure instead of politely receiving it is a psychological release most women rarely get. Being the queen on the throne, even for 10 minutes, is intoxicating.

The surrender and sensory rush for you underneath. Being engulfed by her thighs, breathing in her heat, having her be your entire world for those minutes spikes dopamine and oxytocin and intensifies closeness and arousal for both people.

The physical upgrade. She controls the angle and can grind exactly where she needs, steering her own pleasure instead of waiting for you to find the spot.

Why the Underneath Position Is the Best Seat in the House

Most people think the person underneath is just there. Backwards. When she’s straddling your face, three things work in your favor that you don’t get in any other oral sex position:

• Access — her whole vulva is opened up right to your mouth, no craning your neck.
• Her movement — she grinds and adjusts to chase exactly what she wants, telling you where to be with her whole body in real time.
• Control you can hand back and forth — she uses you, or you grab her hips and run it. That exchange is the erotic heart of the whole thing.

Your job underneath isn’t to lie there and lick. It’s to read the most information-rich position in oral sex and respond to it. You’re not the furniture — you’re the throne.

---

How to Give Face Sitting: 5 Moves

Move 1: Set Her Up to Let Go (Face Sitting Setup & Props)

Whether she enjoys this or spends the whole time in her head comes down to one thing: whether she feels safe enough to put her weight down. The number one thing stopping women from loving face sitting is the fear of hurting you — being too heavy, too much, too smothering. If she’s hovering and holding herself up the whole time, she’s doing a workout, not letting go, and she’ll never get there.

So your first move happens before your mouth does anything. Set the scene so she can relax. At minimum, a pillow or wedge under your head so your neck isn’t cranked and you can breathe and last. If she has achy knees or hips, wedges under her knees or between her calves and thighs help.

And this is where a queening chair earns its place — real furniture with an opening you slide under, so your mouth is right where it needs to be and she sits fully supported, in control, for as long as she wants. This is what turns face sitting from a five-minute thing your neck can barely tolerate into an all-night throne experience.

Here’s my pick for a queening chair perfect for getting started with:

or start with this inflatable wedge:

Then tell her out loud to put her weight down. Say it: “Sit. I’ve got you. I want all of it.” That permission takes the fear out of her body, and a body without fear is a body that can come. Reassure her you can breathe, and set a signal — a tap or squeeze on her thigh means shift up for a second.

Move 2: Use Your Whole Mouth (Face Sitting Oral Technique)

Most people underneath turn their tongue into a jackhammer on one spot. That’s not it. You have a whole mouth, and every part does a different job.

Start soft and wide with a flat, relaxed tongue — broad strokes over the whole vulva before you ever get near the clit directly. Then bring in variety: the flat of your tongue for broad pressure, the tip for precision once she’s built up, your lips to gently suck, and light suction on the clit when she’s ready. The magic isn’t intensity; it’s contrast. Soft then firm, broad then precise, fast then slow, until she finds what makes her climb, then stay there.

And the one most people forget: hum and moan into her. The vibration travels straight into her clit, and for a lot of women that alone is enough to tip them over.

Move 3: Let Her Grinding Be Your Map (Reading Her Movement)

This is the part unique to face sitting. She’s going to move, and most people underneath fight it — chasing her with their tongue or holding a rhythm she’s not following. Don’t. Her grinding isn’t in your way; it’s the instructions.

When she rocks forward, she wants pressure there. When she speeds up, match her. When she presses down harder, she wants more. Your job is to be the steady, consistent surface she rides into her orgasm; hold the rhythm and pressure she’s showing you she likes, and let her fine-tune with her hips.

There’s a delicious shift where you go from serving her to taking, gripping her hips, guiding her onto you at your pace. That back-and-forth is the erotic engine of this position. But you never seize that control out of nowhere. For some people it’s the hottest part; for others, being in control the entire time is the whole point. So talk about it first: does she want to run the whole show, or want you to take over at some point, and how will she signal it? Negotiate the power exchange in advance.

Move 4: Level Up With Face Sitting Toys and Your Hands

Your hands should almost never be idle — grab her thighs, grip her ass, pull her down into you, reach up for her nipples. Touch tells her you’re not enduring this, you’re devouring it.

Then expand the toolbox with face sitting toys:

• A hands-free clitoral toy like the Womanizer Next Liberty rides against her clit while your mouth works everything around it — air suction plus your tongue at the same time.
• A vibrating butt plug like the We-Vibe Ditto+ adds a full, pressed sensation that makes everything your mouth is doing hit harder — and it vibrates, so it’s working for you the whole time.
• For advanced play: face dildos that strap to your chin so she can ride penetration and grind against your mouth at once.

And the one thing that costs nothing and lands hardest: look up. Eye contact from underneath while your mouth is working her is one of the most erotic things you can give. Most people squeeze their eyes shut down there. This one she never forgets.

Move 5: Finish Strong — and Don’t Quit Early

When she gets close — her grinding gets urgent, her thighs tense around your head, her sounds change; your only job is to not change a thing. Whatever you were doing when she started to climb, keep doing exactly that. Same spot, same pressure, same rhythm.

This is where most people underneath blow it: they get excited and speed up right at peak, and knock her straight off it. Her orgasm is riding the exact thing you’re doing, so lock it in and hold it all the way through until she’s finished, not until she starts. And if her thighs clamp down and it’s hard to breathe for a second? That’s not a problem — that’s a grade. (Use your signal if you truly need air.)

Then aftercare: help her off, pull her down next to you, get some water, and if it was her first time, laugh about it together. Tell her how hot it was. That reassurance is exactly what guarantees a second time and a third.

---

Is Face Sitting Safe? (Breathing & Comfort)

Face sitting is safe when you communicate. The person underneath can breathe far more than people assume, but the key is agreeing on a clear signal before you start — a tap or squeeze on the thigh means shift up for air. Once that signal is in place, the person on top can relax and put their weight down, and the giver can tap out any time they genuinely need to. Props like a queening chair or wedges keep both bodies comfortable, which lets the session last longer and feel better for everyone.

Face Sitting Positions to Try

Once you’ve got the basics, vary the face sitting positions: the classic straddle with her hips tucked forward for clit access; reverse (reverse-cowgirl style) with her backside toward your chest for a different angle and anal access; and the fully supported queening-chair position, which lets her stay on the throne comfortably for as long as she wants. Each angle changes the pressure and access, so explore together to find what she loves.

---

Your Face Sitting Cheat Sheet

1. Set her up so she feels safe enough to sit — props, a queening chair, and permission to put her weight down.
2. Use your whole mouth — contrast, not a jackhammer. And hum.
3. Let her grinding be your map — be the steady surface, negotiate the power exchange in advance.
4. Bring your hands, face sitting toys, and eyes into it.
5. Lock in and don’t quit early — hold it all the way through, then give her aftercare.

Do those five things and you go from a partner the queen tolerates to the reason she wants to climb on the throne every single night. Once you’ve got your side down, send her my companion guide on how to sit on a face like you mean it.

For all my toy codes and more guides like this, subscribe to my e-newsletter here.

---

Frequently Asked Questions

How do you give good face sitting? Set your partner up to feel safe enough to sit fully, use your whole mouth with contrast instead of jackhammering one spot, let their grinding guide your rhythm and pressure, bring in your hands and toys, and hold steady through the finish without changing anything. Communication and comfort are what make it great.

Is face sitting safe? Yes, when you communicate. Agree on a clear signal — a tap or squeeze means shift up for air — before you start. The person underneath can breathe more than people assume and can tap out any time, and props keep both partners comfortable.

Why do women finish more easily from face sitting than regular oral? Because the person on top controls the position. Instead of waiting for a partner to find the right spot, she puts it exactly where she wants and grinds at her own pace, pressure, and angle.

How do I make face sitting comfortable? Put a pillow or wedge under the giver’s head so their neck isn’t cranked, use pillows under the sitter’s knees or hips if needed, and consider a queening chair for full support. Comfort is what lets the person on top relax and let go.

What are the best face sitting positions? The classic forward straddle for clit access, a reverse (reverse-cowgirl) position for a different angle, and a supported queening-chair position for long, comfortable sessions.

What toys work well with face sitting? A hands-free clitoral toy like the Womanizer Next Liberty adds suction while the mouth works, a vibrating butt plug like the We-Vibe Ditto+ adds fullness, and for advanced play, a face dildo allows penetration and oral at once.