Cock Worship with Girls Gone Deep: In This Episode of Talk Sex With Annette Podcast
Everybody knows men want to be worshipped in bed. That’s not news. The real question — the one nobody asks — is what’s in it for the person doing the worshipping.
Because done right, penis worship, aka cock worship isn’t a favor. It isn’t service with a fake smile. It’s one of the hottest things you can do for your own pleasure — slow, powerful, deeply erotic, and the giver holds all the control.
Elle and Vee from Girls Gone Deep join me to break it all down: what phallus worship actually is, why it feels incredible on both sides, the healing it offers men carrying shame about their bodies, and then the full step-by-step how-to — setup, touch, the words, cock warming, aftercare — everything you need to try it tonight.
In this episode:
- Why worship is completely different from regular oral (and why that’s the point)
- What’s actually in it for the giver — pleasure, power, and connection
- How it heals shame around size, ED, and performance
- The exact step-by-step: setup, touch techniques, cock warming, and how to end
- How to bring it up with your partner tonight
Read the full Transcript Below.
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Penis Worship: Your Full Guide Episode Transcript
Annette: . [00:00:00] Today’s Talk Sex With Annette topic is cock, AKA phallus worship. What it is, why it’s hot for everyone, and exactly how to do it. Everybody knows men want to be worshiped in bed. That’s not news. The question is, what’s in it for the person doing the worshiping?
Because done right, worshiping him isn’t a favor. It isn’t a service with a fake smile. It’s one of the hottest things you can do for your own pleasure. Think a full-body, slowed-down, deeply erotic experience where the giver holds all the power and gets turned on doing it. And when a couple brings worship into their bedroom, everything changes.
The pace slows, the attention deepens, and both of you remember what it feels like to be completely present with each other’s body. Today, we’re breaking down cock, AKA phallus worship, what it actually is, why it feels incredible on both sides, and [00:01:00] then the exact how-to step-by-step so you can do this tonight.
And I have the perfect guides. Elle and V are the hosts of Girls Gone Deep, a podcast for the open-minded, curious, and naughty, where two sex-positive women in ethical non-monogamy lifestyle talk about how they use sex and dating for personal growth and building the most joyous life possible.
Elle and V, welcome to Talk Sex With Annette. But before we dive in, I have to remind you all, I’m over on OnlyFans where I am sharing my sex and intimacy how-tos, demos, and audio-guided self-pleasure meditations, and I’ve got a bunch of new stuff going up soon. So you’re gonna wanna check that out. And you can find me over there with my handle, @talksexwithannette.
You can also find me over on over on Substack with my handle, @
talksexwithannette,
Annette: doing a whole bunch of the same. Now, you can find all of us wherever you wanna find us by scrolling down to the notes [00:02:00] section below, and I’ll have all of the links there. Elle and V, can you introduce yourselves to my listeners and tell them a little bit more?
Vee: Yeah, V. Hi, guys. I am V. I am a sex-positive lady living in New York City. I am a somatic embodied intimacy coach who primarily I work with women to really tune into their bodies to find their authentic desires and be able to communicate them. So I love working with women and couples to really be able to live their most authentic, sexual, sensual lives.
Elle: Hi, everybody. I’m Al, and I have been in an ethically non-monogamous relationship for about 12 years with my husband, and have had the podcast with V for about four or five years. And we’re just, uh, loving life, being sexually open and positive, and sharing our experiences with the world. It’s just been a beautiful journey for us, and being in [00:03:00] this lifestyle has taught us so much about relationship, community, and connection, and friendship, and love.
And so it has been a passion project of ours to just share our experiences with others and inspire others to achieve their authentic self. So I’m happy to be here and to be talking about all this sexy stuff with everybody.
Vee: Beautifully said, I must say. Well…
Annette: 100%. And what… come on, we’re a power trio here, folks.
If you are curious, you hear the term cock or phallus worship, and you’re like, “What? What in the world?” You’ve got a conversation that’s about to take place that is gonna guide you through it. And if you bring it into your intimate life tonight, I almost guarantee… I know there’s gonna be a couple of you that are like, “Not for me,” but I think for most of you, it’s going to improve your intimate life.
Uh, unless you don’t play with it, with the cocks. In that case, you can listen just for fun, [00:04:00] right? So- Can I
Vee: also say- Yeah … this could be done with a strap-on.
Elle: Ooh. I’m
Annette: so ashamed that you thought- … of that and I didn’t. Yeah.
Vee: Yeah.
Annette: Last night I was, I was- Worshiping
Vee: a
Annette: strap-on? You… I… I… One, no. I, I had the strap-on.
Are you kidding me? You were wielding
Elle: the strap-on. Yeah.
Annette: You are right. Oh my gosh. Yeah. So if… Hey, my queer girlfriends out there, it’s true. I have actually had someone give, uh- Mm … oral sex to a strap-on I had on, and it was super hot. Mm-hmm. So… And I bet this would be even hotter now. Put it in that context- You guys are-
it’s so clear to me. I’m excited about this conversation, ’cause I am confident that I’m gonna learn from it- … as well as everyone else. Uh, I have often said, where I, uh, am most maybe knowledgeable, skilled, is in the [00:05:00] giving of and understanding, uh, how to pleasure a woman, uh, or a person with a vulva. That is my, that’s my area of expertise.
Elle: Mm-hmm.
Annette: I can admit when there’s some learning to be done, because when it comes to penises, cocks, I’m, I’m a very embodied learner and teacher, and because I don’t have one, I sometimes feel like I don’t know what to do. So this conversation, guys, you, you’re staying to the end. Because if you’re like me and you’re like, “I don’t know what would feel good.
I don’t know why I’d wanna do it, and I certainly don’t know how to do it,” by the end of this conversation- We’re all gonna be able to go out there and worship some phalluses together. Or part together.
Elle: Amen. Yeah.
Annette: Spiritually together.
Elle: Amen.
Annette: All right, guys. I’m excited about this conversation. I’ve been, uh, reaching out to you guys for a long time about it, so it’s time to do it.
Let’s talk about how to worship some cocks. Cheers. Cheers.
Elle: Cheers,
Annette: ladies.
Vee: [00:06:00] I wanna say- I- Yes … I think it was decided on the last episode we did with you, at the very end you were like, “We should do a cock worship episode.” And so it’s been in the works since then, ’cause our last one we did with you was blowjob tips.
Elle: Yeah, and deep throating. Like, blowjobs. Yeah.
Vee: Yeah. We both love, love, love cocks. And, uh, dissimilarly to you, I feel like not very knowledgeable about the vulva, so I love listening to your episodes and you talk about all of that. And so for me to share this with the world, it’s, it’s nice. All of my field research on, playing with phalluses.
Elle: Yeah. We’ve been practicing just leading up to this.
Vee: Yeah.
Annette: I love that. We did have that conversation, and that was what we shared about where we felt most confident. I’m confident with vulvas and vaginas, and boobies, and all of the good stuff. Uh, and you have more confidence in, uh, in [00:07:00] cocks and the male-bodied person.
So I wanna start with- What is cock or phallus worship?
Elle: Mm. This is a great question, and the… when I think about this, it is a practice of devotion. When you think of the word worship, it is like awe, reverence, praising something. It is, it is almost godlike. So you’re treating the phallus as this wondrous thing and really showing it presence and appreciation.
And I think that that energy when you come into that is so different from oral sex or when you’re going down on somebody, which is repetitive. There’s a goal in mind. You need… wanna be efficient. You’re trying to achieve something. Where worship is more slow. It’s really there’s no expectation. You’re not looking to have an orgasm.
You’re not even looking for a hard phallus. You’re not looking for a hard cock. It could be soft. It [00:08:00] could just be about enjoying the experience and being present and showing love. So I think that that’s really the main difference, of the male feeling held and seen and tuning into your partner, and I think it’s an opportunity for the giver to really learn about your partner, really watch them and go slow and just understand how they…
what they enjoy and what they would enjoy more of.
Vee: Mm. I’d like to echo all of those sentiments and add to it. When you’re giving devotion, what phallus worship really is is a gift to your partner, and it’s an opportunity for them to receive, and there’s no expectation, like Elle said, no expectation of orgasm.
Mm-hmm. So you might not be using those repetitive motions to reach climax. What I like to think of it as is almost like a meditation on the power and beauty of the phallus. Mm-hmm. And actually I went to this wonderful tantric [00:09:00] retreat that we had an opportunity to just really worship at the temple of these life-giving organs, both the vulva and the phallus.
Mm-hmm. And, when you really think about what the phallus is it, it creates life, right?
Elle: Mm-hmm.
Vee: And when you think- I have chills thinking about that. And just really meditating on that and the pleasure that it can give us as vulva owners or as phallus owners as well, right? I’m sure you have male on male players who listen to this.
Thinking of the pleasure that it can give, just really meditating on that and giving your person, your phallus owner, partner the, the love and reverence that you can in this gift of phallus worship. And it’s also I’ll leave it there. Yeah.
Elle: I, I wanna add [00:10:00] to that ’cause that’s a really great comment.
And something I wanna touch on which may be overlooked by most people is that men also deal with shame and pressure from society about their appearance, and is their member large enough, do they have the right muscles, are they big enough? Everything here can also be used as a healing mechanism. Imagine having a partner who is ashamed of his size or maybe the way that it curves, and then there is a female there just praising it and loving it just the way that it is.
No expectation. I love you as you are. And that could be really healing for the male too. And I wanna address that because I feel like we’re always talking about women under the pressure of having bigger boobs, bigger butts, skinny bodies, everything, you name it. There’s so much pressure on women, but there’s just as much as on men as well.
So I think for them, this could be a really healing experience for them too.
Vee: Yeah, so just to finally put a period on it that expectation that you’re talking about it’s no expectation of climax [00:11:00] and no expectation of getting hard either. Mm-hmm. We love a soft phallus. Yeah. And really showing your partner that you don’t care if they’re getting hard or not.
Mm-hmm. Because also when you’re dealing with ED, you don’t have to be dealing with ED to… So erectile dysfunction for anyone who doesn’t know what ED means. You don’t have to be dealing with ED to re- receive and feel the benefits of a phallus worship session. Mm-hmm. However, if you have anyone who does deal with ED, this can be a really healing thing to do, like Elle said, because there’s no expectation.
You just want to show your lover how much you love their phallus no matter what it’s doing, not doing. It’s beautiful.
Annette: It is, it’s a worshiping of a body, right? Mm-hmm. And something that you said that resonates with [00:12:00] me, because obviously a lot of the work I do is helping people understand women’s vulva and vagina and, and body.
Uh, and I have definitely done… This isn’t, is not the s- You can also do a vulva worship, for sure, right? Oh, yeah. And this, that’s not- Oh, yeah … what this podcast is about. I have done a how-to on v- uh, yoni massage, which is very similar in, in many ways. But what you said that really stuck out to me was that you’re explor- it gives you an opportunity to explore his body.
Because something we don’t talk about a lot is the different pleasure zones on a men’s, on men’s bodies, including their penis and the different ways it needs to be touched or can be touched to bring different types of pleasure, which is what I solely focus on in a lot of my content, w- is the different ways you can touch a vulva and a vagina to bring pleasure, and all the [00:13:00] different pleasure zones.
I am assuming I know that there are different pleasure zones on a male m- on male genitalia as well. Mm-hmm. So this is an opportunity to start learning that, and knowing how you can touch your partner and different ways to bring him pleasure. So someone like me, who maybe doesn’t feel as confident, I could use a worship session or regular worship sessions to really explore and see how he responds, and then feel more confident when we’re actively having sex, correct?
Vee: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Totally. That’s a great way to bring takeaways from this act into your, quote unquote, “regular sex life” let’s say. Mm-hmm. Absolutely. Yeah. I agree. Because you are touching different parts of them that maybe you’re not focusing on in your typical sexual acts. Mm-hmm. I also do want to just caveat something [00:14:00] that you said.
So, like vulva worship and yoni massage, you said there are a lot of overlaps, but they are different. Same with cock or phallus worship and lingam massage. Mm-hmm. Because yoni massage and lingam massage are used very much to release points of tension and where trauma has been held in that area, in our genitalia.
And so it’s done with a specific purpose. Whereas the worship acts of either, yoni worship or, uh, lingam worship that we’re talking about is just more just purely devotional and giving love and acceptance to these body parts.
Elle: Yeah.
Annette: Yes. So lingam is another word used for cock, phallus, penis.
Yeah. For my listeners who haven’t heard that term- Yeah … because it isn’t used a lot. Yeah. But, uh, it is [00:15:00] the same thing. Just- Yeah … so that’s clear, uh, if you hear us continue to use it throughout this episode.
Vee: Yeah.
Annette: All right. I feel like you gave a wonderful definition for it, and even in the definition itself, for me, I see a lot of perks.
A, it’s an opportunity to learn about your partner. It’s an educational opportunity where you both can enjoy being close, but you can also build confidence and knowledge for how to pleasure your partner. And if you’re with a partner you’re in love with, or even just in lust with and wanna have regular sex with, why would this not be a bonus, right?
You’re gonna wanna build that confidence and, uh, know how to pleasure them more. But it’s also… I love the healing aspect of it, because I know myself, I’ve been in relationship with men who clearly were, and had no reason to be. Not that I really think anyone should ever be ashamed [00:16:00] of what their equipment is like.
But m- Mm. I’ve been with men who have very average or even slightly above average penises who still carried a lot of shame and insecurity, and struggled because of that. And I love this as such a positive y- uh, bonding way to work with that and heal that. As opposed to what would frustrate me is then every time we’re having sex and afterwards getting the, “Was it good?
Are you disappointed in my si- size?” Which would then ruin the experience for me, right? I’d be like, “Okay, we just had this beautiful experience, and now I’m spending, the next two hours trying to emotionally support you through something that wasn’t a problem.” Mm-hmm. So, this feels more proactive.
It feels m- m- more bonding and, and fun, something that could be a pleasurable approach to everyone’s insecurity. But- Can I- Yep.
Vee: Can I just do a PSA about that really [00:17:00] quickly? Mm. We talk about this on our podcast over and over. We might have even said it in our episode with you. We love all sizes of penises.
Yep. We love them all. If you needed to hear it, I am saying it. Shout it from the rooftops. We love… there are different sizes for different acts in my opinion. Yeah. I don’t always want a huge dick.
Annette: No.
Vee: Yeah, me either. I don’t. When I’m doing butt stuff, I certainly don’t want a huge dick.
Yeah. And also, giving head can be more, giving head can be more pleasurable with a smaller phallus- Yeah … because you can go longer. Oh, God. So I just wanna shout that from the rooftops and spread that gospel. Yeah. Amen to that. There’s nothing like giving oral on somebody who’s average and then being able to deep throat that and you feel like, “Oh my God, I did it.
Elle: Oh my gosh, I, I…” That’s… not that that’s a, a goal that everyone should achieve, but it’s fun to be able to do different things when you’re giving oral. So I think, uh, amen to what you said because I wanna [00:18:00] echo that. It is never to be themed. Yes.
Annette: So that brings me to my next question before we get into the step-by-step how to, which is what is the payoff for the partner, especially a cis woman who- Mm-hmm
we know there’s an orgasm gap out there, so a lot of cis heterosexual women are, are frustrated, and they’re like, “I’m not even getting mine, and now you want me to worship his, uh, phallus on top of it? Then I’m doing more work, I’m giving more, and I’m walking away still not getting what I want.” I, I can hear, I can hear that voice out there, and that’s why I would like to speak to it.
I, I already named two bonuses, uh, which are education, feeling more compa- confident, and then getting more of that. I think a lot of women, we, we desire more connection, more deep, like, loving, intimate connection. I think this sounds like an experience that gives you that, but can you talk a [00:19:00] little bit more about w- how does this bring her pleasure?
Elle: Yeah. I, I, I love giving because for me it feels like I am stepping more into my feminine energy. When we think about feminine energy, it is love, it’s creation, it’s connection, it’s flow. There’s a softness there. And so when you can be creative in your play, there’s a lot of those aspects that we can help bring our men on these journeys, because they don’t have the same capacity.
They have different skill sets, and so we can really tap into our feminine side by worshiping him. I also think that it’s an empowering position. We’re the ones in control. We’re the ones leading the whole thing, and typically, I would say on average, it is probably more common in, in, in heterosexual relationships where the men are typically the ones leading the interactions.
They’re the ones continuing. And that’s not for everybody. I’m, I’m just speaking in a generality, but I… most women I speak with, that’s what I continually hear is usually the men are doing a lot of the work. [00:20:00] And so for this, this is now putting the women in the empowered position. And then I also think that for women, it…
there’s a little bit of a healing aspect too, where the women are also going in without expectation for the orgasm because as women, I think that we’re people-pleasers. I’ve been a victim of this. I feel like I’ve wanted to make sure that my partner or, uh, comes and orgasms and reaches his climax, and I now no longer have to think about that in this type of a scenario.
It is just a pleasure experience without having that, uh, expectation of climax. So for me, there’s a lot of relieving of, of expectation too and pressure.
Vee: I love what you said about that leaning into your feminine. We have been getting more and more into tantra, and obviously phallus worship is very tantric if you want it to be.
And so I just really love that polarity of leaning into, I- the feminine versus the masculine, et cetera. I do wanna echo what you said, Annette. It’s really about connection. You can really feel [00:21:00] connected. Mm-hmm. And I also want to separate it from what you said, right? So, we can feel like, oh, there’s an orgasm gap and, what about me?
This is not about the same sexual, uh, activities that we do. It’s not about your kind of like typical sex life that you have. So it’s not about each of you getting off. This is about something different. This is about having it be a healing, meditative, connective experience, and so you’re, quote-unquote, I guess, getting off in a different way, right, i- with that connection.
I don’t know about you guys, but that’s how I get off, with connection, so. Yeah.
That’s what I would say. And then also, I will also say it feels good. Besides the empowerment that El mentioned, like when you lube it up and you’re like rubbing yourself on it, because we’ll get into this, but with the how-to, you don’t just have to use your hands.
Yeah. I love using my [00:22:00] tits, boobs, whatever words we wanna use for that, and like putting coconut oil in between and just like rubbing it up and down the phallus. That feels good to me, and I’m always wet afterwards, and I also think about, I’m loving my partner. Like, when I do this with my partner, I am thanking him for everything he does in our lives outside of the bedroom.
I’m like, “You worked so hard today in your masculine. Let me, let me do a little thing for you. This is a gift for you and a moment for you.” And you can also put a timer on it. I also love putting timers on things. So like we did talk about like slowness and really just like drawing out phallus worship, but if you don’t have a lot of time, you could just do 15 or 20 minutes, mm-hmm. And it doesn’t feel like you’re giving too much, and they don’t feel the anxiety maybe of receiving for an X amount of time, mm-hmm. So a lot of different things there to get some pleasure [00:23:00] out of it as the giver.
Annette: I love that. That makes a lot of sense. And I also think that Just that time to be intimate and sexy without expectation is a gift to a woman.
Mm-hmm. I feel like a lot of times when I’m in a sexual situation, if I feel the stress of having to finish them off or having some goal to it, it can take away the joy and what I really wanna get out of it. I’m also a little bit of a… I’m a lot of a pleasure dom. I really love to be a giver without receiving anything.
I get what I like to call an, an emotional or an energetic orgasm off of that.
Elle: Mm-hmm.
Annette: And so I have, in several relationships, just been the person to, to give and explore and there’s a lot of, I don’t know, there’s a lot of pleasure in the giving. I always say [00:24:00] a lot of, uh, the, some of the biggest parts of the pleasure comes from the giving.
Mm. And if you aren’t experiencing that at all, then you gotta reassess where you’re at. That’s a big part- Mm … of, of the pleasure of sex and sexual interactions is giving- Mm … someone pleasure.
Elle: Yeah.
Annette: Right? Uh, oh, I do. And some people-
Elle: 100% …
Annette: maybe don’t get that, but
Elle: No. Yeah. I get off on- I get
Annette: wet.
Elle: Yeah. I get super wet when I’m in this type of space where I’m giving.
I just feel, it, it, I don’t know, it’s, it’s a gift like you said, and that is the best thing that you can do for somebody else.
Vee: Also if I’m thinking about what you said, Annette, about, what kind of… What about me and my orgasm for female givers of phallus worship?
This is not the mindset that you want to go into it with, but we could also think “Hey, I’m giving him this time,” and so he will really appreciate that. So then when you are having sex later, like with the goal of [00:25:00] orgasm, he’s gonna be like that much more into your pleasure I would hope.
Annette: Right.
That’s, that’s my- If
Vee: not,
Annette: you’ve got- … thought. You got something else to talk about if not. Yeah,
Vee: yeah,
Elle: yeah.
Vee: Yeah.
Annette: So let’s get into it. Let’s give the step by step how to for this process. What is, uh, the conversation that I’m sure has to happen first, and the setup. Walk us through it all the way to the aftercare and how we sum it up and end it.
Elle: Okay. I guess I’ll start with the, with the setup, right? I think that there’s a couple things that I was thinking about. One for women, this might be a very skips tip, but needs to be done, is put your hair up. You have to think about your hands are gonna be so luby that you don’t wanna be like touching your face, touching your hair.
Be prepared. Set up your space, have a blanket out or a waterproof blanket. Have the lube nearby with the… that you can access and use with one hand. And this is more of a, of a later [00:26:00] tip, however, when I’m engaging, I always wanna keep contact with him somewhere at all times. So even if I’m reaching for the lube, my hand is still on him.
Mm-hmm. It’s almost just a smoother transition back into the motions and the movements because he’s not surprised by a new contact or a new spot or, losing that momentum. So that is a tip that I really like. And then just him being comfy, you’re comfy. Making sure the music and the lighting is right.
You can put some candles up. But just like setting up your space so that when you’re in it you’re not gonna be interrupted or disturbed, and then lose your kind of balance. And if that does happen, totally okay. You laugh about it, whatever it is. You get right back in, take a deep breath, and you can both reset.
I always think that there’s a lot of joy in laughing during sex too at any time. Mm-hmm. Do you have any comments on the start, on the initiation, V?
Vee: Yeah, I guess like you mentioned with like setting the scene, just making sure, just like you would for any kind of sexual encounter, you wanna make sure that like- [00:27:00] All the brakes, so to speak.
I see a Come As You Are behind you. The, the brakes and accelerators. We wanna make sure that we’re taking care of any brakes that could possibly be there around ambiance. We’re, we’re thinking of those ahead of time.
Annette: Can I have you, really quickly… When you say brakes, you’re talking about the things that stop arousal, and excitement, and pleasure, and when you’re talking about the accelerator, these are things that accelerate pleasure and arousal- Mm-hmm
for people who aren’t, uh, familiar with Come As You Are.
Vee: Mm-hmm. Thank you. And I also think of brakes and accelerators in terms of being able to relax, right? Mm-hmm. Because if we are saying that phallus worship is not about arousal necessarily it’s about being able to relax and be in the moment for both of you.
So what can you take away for this time [00:28:00] period so that you can be in the moment?
Elle: The, uh, perfect statement. I wanna add to this because I think a lot of women might be out there thinking like, “Oh my gosh, I’ve never done this. I have to do this,” “This is something to add to the list of things in order to please my partner.”
And I think that when you approach something like this, what every woman needs to hear is you should not be approaching phallus worship from a place of depletion or obligation. Because that’s not, that’s not devotion. That might be more of feeding your ego because you think you have to do this to be a good wife, or a good girlfriend, or a good partner, and I think that you need to reevaluate if this is really what you wanna be doing in that moment.
Because you can feel that disconnect if you’re coming into it with that kind of approach. It’s not really a gift for them-
Vee: Beautifully said. Thank you- Yeah … for saying that. And so I do wanna say also with setting the scene or preparing, one of the major things for me is mindset. And so, like I’ve been saying [00:29:00] over and over, it’s like I think of it as a meditation.
When I’m going to meditate, I, I kinda take some deep breaths and think about kind of my intention when I’m… Different types of meditation, right? Mm-hmm. Sometimes it’s just clearing the mind, but sometimes it’s meditating on a certain thing. And so for me, it’s very much like getting in the zone of, okay, I am going to be transmitting love and acceptance.
What do I want to transmit with my body, with my words to my lover? And just really get in that mindset. So to Elly’s point, if you’re coming at it from a place of depletion or obligation, you’re not gonna be able to get there.
Annette: Yeah.
Elle: Yeah, for sure.
Annette: I love that you brought up the performance piece.
This isn’t a performance, it’s truly an act of connection reverence, if you will- Mm … of giving thanks, right? Not a performance.
Elle: Again.
Annette: And so, and s- and it, for some of us, it’s so hard to get out [00:30:00] of that mindset, but that’s, that’s… It sounds like that’s a big key. Really quick, before we move into then what comes next, can you talk about how, what is the conversation?
What’s the conversation you have to even bring this into the bedroom really quick?
Elle: So I would say one of the things… I’m thinking about the experiences that I’ve had with my partner, and we did a lot of this when I was pregnant, and I think it his seed was in me, and I just was all about him.
And every time that we had a session like this, it ended up being one of the nights where we had a long play night. We dedicated time to each other. We set up everything, the ambiance, and it’s a two, three, four-hour event. So it ends up being intermingled into that. But it, the conversation that you can have when you first start is fears, desires, and boundaries.
If this is like, “I am just going to give to you, and all you need to do is sit there and receive. There’s nothing that you need to do. Close your eyes, whatever you need.” And you can have that conversation about what they need to be able to relax to receive, if that’s a [00:31:00] concern of theirs. But really, just fears, desires, and boundaries.
What do they hope to achieve out of it? What are they worried about? If they bring up a concern, you ask, “What can I do to help you work through that if it happens?” And this way, you can co-create a better experience. And then any boundaries. So, “Hey, this feels great, but don’t, put your finger in my butthole right now.
I don’t, I don’t want you to even go any further than that spot.” Right? So just not getting too carried away. They could tell you if they don’t like a, a certain tug on their testicles, right? They, they don’t like certain positions. You can go ahead and talk about what may bother them first so that you don’t push too far in the moment.
Vee: And I think just broaching the subject is like, “Hey, I heard about this thing on a podcast. I’d love to try it.” Mm-hmm. And just seeing where the conversation goes from there if they’re open to it. I don’t know many people that wouldn’t be open to just like- … laying back and receiving.
Although people who do have trouble with receiving might, might experience some anxiety around that. And [00:32:00] so maybe framing it like, “Listen,” “I know you don’t love to receive, but I want to give to you. And so, maybe this would be a great opportunity for you to practice doing that, and would you be open to doing it?”
And something that might be helpful is maybe putting a time limit on it, because when I have trouble with receiving, which I always do, I use a timer because I know that the person who’s giving is consenting to that set amount of time, and then I can release within those 10 minutes, ’cause I know the timer will go off, right?
Mm-hmm.
Annette: That’s brilliant. Yeah, setting a timer. That was- Yeah … popped into my mind, is setting a time limit. Could you try this for 10 minutes, five minutes, whatever is tolerable at first. And y- you may very well start expanding that time, find that, oh, this is amazing, and maybe next time let’s try 10 minutes.
Yeah. So I love that. Also, I always say, [00:33:00] say, “I heard this podcast.” Obviously, take this episode- … and say, “These three women- … say that I should worship your cock.” ” They swear by phallus worship.” Yeah. “And so let’s listen to this together, and if you wanna give it a try, I’m down,” right?
Elle: Yeah. Yeah. I, I think another part of this communication piece actually is, would be really helpful is using a scale system.
So one being it feels good, but 10 being I’m gonna climax, right? So then you can play with different sensations depending on how long you’re going. You may… He might express he may not want to climax too soon. So you can use a number system in between to say, “Hey, I’m at an eight,” and then maybe just staying at an eight is a great level.
This could also be really helpful for, for men or anyone who climaxes too soon. They have a, they have an issue there, so this can actually tease and practice and build endurance if you stay at an eight and pull back, and then kinda work yourself back up. So I think a number system can be really [00:34:00] helpful.
Vee: This is coming from the professional edger, just by the way.
Elle: Yeah.
Vee: El is very into edging.
Elle: Yes. Probably every time I engage, I’m edging.
Annette: Well, it’s time for the how to step-by-step guide. We now have the s- set, the, the, the area set up, the atmosphere dialed in.
Vee: Mm-hmm.
Annette: What happens? Walk me through. Hmm.
Vee: El, do you wanna start or do you want me to? No, it’s all you, girl. Okay. , It’s important to note that you can use all parts of your body. Another thing that I was thinking of saying when you’re communicating to your partner beforehand is you could also frame it as just a massage.
Receive this massage from me, mm-hmm. Because you’re not just touching the phallus. Mm. You’re touching all around that area, and it could be, the balls, the perineum, the asshole if they want that. But it can also be, and very much I love doing a massage [00:35:00] to the inner thighs and all the way out to the hips and the…
What are these, these muscles down from the outside- The hip … down to the… It’s like the hip. Yeah. Yeah, their muscles. Below the abs into the hip. Yeah. Yeah. I don’t know
Elle: what
Vee: it’s called. Basically just just massaging all around that area because there can be so much tension there.
Mm. And so it’s really about, for me, that’s where I start. I get my hands lubed up, and I start with the inner thighs, and just go slow at first. And then I’m gonna move up and around. I make like a circle with the insides of my thumbs around the base and just push around there.
And just really- Savoring it. That’s the word I would use. Savor it. Savor your partner’s gorgeous body and everything that it does. Like, when you come at it with that mentality, you can go slow and [00:36:00] just really touch every part-
Elle: Mm-hmm …
Vee: with curiosity-
Elle: Yeah …
Vee: and reverence.
Elle: Yeah. That’s great.
Vee: So that’s where I start.
How about you, Mel?
Elle: That, that, that, that’s a great start. Yeah, definitely lube. Something I think about is I always end up doing oral when I’m doing something like this, so I like to use coconut oil because it’s edible and it’s clean. So you don’t always have to do that, so then you can use different lubes based on your preference.
Or even a massage oil, which you should not ingest, right? So unless it says so on the bottle. But definitely lubing your hands, and I… E- exactly, I start with rubbing everywhere, all around the area, just to warm everything up. Flaccid or, uh, erect, it doesn’t matter. So then one… And, and you can think about rubbing all over.
Rub the balls. Rub up from the perineum in between the balls. The balls will usually fall to the side. Uh, both… either side of the, of the cock, and then you just rub all the way up to the tip and come right back down. And so you can just [00:37:00] keep massaging the whole area in circular motions and just start working it, and just always remember to add lube when you need to.
But it’s just, I always think of it as if this were mine, what would I wanna feel? Mm-hmm. And I always take the time to go slow. The most lightest touches at first, and then experimenting. What would this feel like? What would he do if I did this? And so it’s just about being playful with it as well and staying curious about what he would like.
Vee: And another great mindset tip is imagine that this is the first time you’re ever exploring your partner’s body. You’ve never… Yeah. You’ve never seen it before, and just really, like I said before, savoring it. Something you said made me think. Yeah, the more lube you can get all over there so that it’s really slippery and feels really good is amazing.
And then, so we’re talking about touch, right? You can also incorporate words, and you can incorporate [00:38:00] eye contact. Because when you are worshiping someone and you’re making eye contact with them, they can really feel your reverence and, and love. If that is the intention that you are bringing into it, and you just wanna just shower your partner with love, then look at them and tell them, like, how beautiful their phallus is.
Only say things that you truly believe and mean though, because you wanna make sure that, you’re not saying something just to say something, and then you’d actually be eroding trust. But you want to say “I love how you can relax into just receiving pleasure from me. This is so hot.” Just anything.
Mm-hmm. It, it doesn’t even need to be commenting on their genitals at all. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It can be about the experience of giving them pleasure. “I love making you feel good, baby. This feels so good for me. Oh my God, th- your skin underneath my hands feels so good.” So just… And really making eye contact with [00:39:00] them and saying things from a place of authenticity and honesty.
Elle: Yeah. Very good point. Has to be authentic, and, and this is where you can tap into things that they might not be so excited about themselves. So I love how you curve to the right, right? That even just something like that could be healing for them, because they’ve always been self-conscious about something.
So even just, again, as long as it feels authentic. But I love that you talked about that. And so the thing that I’ll add is when you’re… You can do all sorts of motions at this time. It doesn’t necessarily have to be stroking. But maybe they’re not hard yet. Maybe they’re not erect in this moment.
You can help bring them to erection by just grabbing the base from at the top and the bottom, and almost pinching. And what that does is it stops the blood flow from leaving. It actually causes it to stay in the cock. And so then you can get… You can hold the base and then stroke the top at the same time, and that will then help to start bringing more blood flow to the area.
Because when you bring more blood flow, you bring more [00:40:00] sensations, so that’s something to think about. And even if it’s not fully erect and it’s s- semi-flaccid, one of the best things you can do, and V, I’m gonna pull on you for this one, the cock warming that you talked about, which is simply just p- placing him in your mouth and letting it just sit there, and just pausing for a moment, and letting him feel the warmth and the wetness.
And so that could be super erotic. And I forget where I heard it, but it was like when you’re flaccid, when the male is flaccid, the nerve endings are closer together, and so it could actually be more pleasurable to experience cock warming that way. Versus when he is erect, the nerve endings are a little bit more spread out, and it’s just a different sensation.
So different motions may provide different responses from him. But the whole time you just wanna keep an eye on your partner. What is he sounding like? What is he enjoying? You can check in. “Do you like that? Would you like it more intense? Do you want me to go faster or slower?” “How does this feel?”
And you can, u- I, I would, I would, I would actually use more yeses and nos. It would just be an easier response for him to reply in that way than [00:41:00] think about a sentence. So, “Do you want me to push harder, yes or no?” Right? That’s a question, as an example. But working around all these different movements.
Vee: And to your point from before, if you are working with building up endurance maybe, uh, this might seem obvious or not, but I’ll just mention it, you can always focus on a different area if you are, if they are getting close to climax and they don’t want to- Mm-hmm … or you don’t want to bring them to climax, just, move your hands and focus elsewhere.
Yeah … I also heard somewhere that it’s nice to incorporate also, like, opening up the heart chakra. Mm. Because with their masculinity, and this is like a gift for them to receive and not feel like they have to give back or anything you could even reach up to their chest and just rub their heart chakra and rub their pectoral muscles.
That, that feels really nice. We get a lot of tit worship and nipple play. Some men say they like nipple play and, and enjoy that, but if that’s [00:42:00] not something that’s part of their practice, this could be a really great opportunity to explore that area as well, so.
Yeah.
Annette: So I have two questions that I don’t want to forget. First, o- o- one of my questions was, can we focus on other areas outside of just the penis or the phallus? You answered that with y- so you can incorporate the chest and the stomach, and really exploring the whole body leading up to and around it with touch, it sounds like.
I wanna go back to the cock or phallus warming. That is something that’s never been mentioned here. I am aware of it. Mm-hmm. Well, can we take just a quick minute to explain that a little bit more to my listeners? Try using phallus.
Vee: So something- Welcome … that I do with my dominant, I’m a submissive, is phallus warming, and it’s just the practice of holding the [00:43:00] phallus in your mouth while it’s soft.
It may grow, it may not, but it’s just holding it in your mouth and staying still. You’re not moving your tongue. You’re not going up and down. There is no goal other than to just really have him luxuriate in the warmth of your mouth, and this can be done in a power play way, uh, which is how I often do it.
And also, I loved how Elle just mentioned, it can just be a way of worshiping and, and incorporating it into this phall- phallus worship because, you, you love to feel it inside of your mouth, whether it’s hard or soft. There is no goal here. You just wanna feel it and luxuriate, so that’s what it is.
Very well said. Just warming it. Yeah. Warming it with your mouth.
Annette: And then a f- final question is we’ve talked about touch, stroke, obviously hand [00:44:00] jobs, oral incorporation. What about taking in the scent? Mm-hmm. I know when I had I had a guest on talking about yoni massage and worshiping the yoni, and one of the things she said about that was, oh, talking about the scent, and taking in the scent, and really experiencing all aspects.
Would you say this is also a part of the worship?
Vee: Absolutely. I think that can also be really healing for, uh, phallus owners as well, just like it is for vulva owners, right? We as vulva owners have always been taught i- by society oh, it’s, it’s gross, it smells weird. And so it’s so healing when you hear that you taste or smell good.
Same thing for dudes. Mm-hmm. They’re inside of their underwear all day, right? And they don’t know- Mm-hmm … how they smell or also it can change depending on their hormones. It can change depending on what they’ve eaten. We’re always secreting different things, so, [00:45:00] definitely I recommend washing before this.
Yeah. But so then you’re getting their natural scent- Mm-hmm … and their natural pheromones. And so yeah, when you are worshiping them with your words too, just saying “Oh, you smell so good,” and maybe just, like, taking their phallus in… I love smelling my man’s phallus and his balls.
I just, like ugh, just really breathe it in and just tell him and make eye contact and say, “You smell amazing.”
Uh, but yeah, I love to taste you. Mm. Yeah.
Annette: So give me the key differentiator between a lingam or phallus massage- And the cock or phallus worship
Elle: So when you, when you look at traditional lingam massages, it tends to be like a three to four-hour process. The beginning is usually a discussion. The first, the next hour might be a full-body [00:46:00] massage, and then you approach the lingam massage.
In similar… This is where it would overlap in terms of what the goals are. In lingam massage there might be goals, because that’s why you’re going for a session like that. This is more of just letting them receive your gift, right? And it is just about the pleasure, and that’s it. So it’s just…
It’s a, it’s a shorter experience, I would say, and you’re kinda, I don’t wanna say cutting to the chase, but you’re getting to the good part pretty quickly. But that’s, uh, that’s what I would have… I, I would describe the difference. What about you, V?
Vee: And
Annette: I- It k- Go ahead … it sound, it sounds to me like almost the massage come, is part of the worship, but not the whole of the worship.
It’s something you can do, but it is not the whole picture.
Elle: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Vee: I’m also trying to think of it, like metaphorically, like a body massage, right? Sometimes you go for specifically, like sports medicine and, like you want to work out this kink and this muscle versus, like when you’re on vacation [00:47:00] and you just get a massage because it feels good.
That’s ki- obviously, that’s not taking into consideration the intention behind phallus worship versus lingam massage, but if you think of it, like in that, that kind of terms, like I feel like a lingam massage is like you are really pinpointing certain things and trying to work some things out, versus phallus worship is more just, lay back and receive this pleasure.
Elle: Mm-hmm.
Annette: How does it end?
Elle: Wow. This is a great question. Well- … before we go to how does it end, can I talk about a little bit more hand positions? I think that we didn’t touch a lot on different things you can do, that would be fun for some people.
Annette: Absolutely. Absolutely.
Elle: One of the, one of the things that I really like to do is pushing the phallus to one side, like almost touching against their thigh as far as it’ll go.
And if there is tension or tightness, you can actually rub or put your thumb on the opposite side to kind [00:48:00] of like let that relax, ’cause men can hold tension too. So just playing around with how far can you push it, where do you feel that resistance, slow down a little bit, and help work it through. Another thing I think of is playing with the balls.
We don’t wanna forget about that part. But you can you can pull the balls up. Imagine like you’re holding an ice cream cone, but you can pull the balls up to the top of the hand, and you can lick it, you can tickle it when they’re tight like that, as long as your partner finds that comfortable, and that’s where you can check in in that moment.
“Is this okay? Can I pull a little harder?” And just stretching and pulling and tickling that part of the body. Also when you’re stroking with your hand, when you move upward to the, to the phallus, it’s using your thumbs to massage the frenulum. I think of it like you’re holding a TV remote, and you’re using your thumb in a circular motion, and you can just both hands back and forth all the way around the frenulum, ’cause that’s just the most sensitive part on their phallus.
So thinking about, how do we really play with all the different pleasure zones that are there? One thing I’ve done is, [00:49:00] is I’ve used my breath, and, and really blew on their, on their cock and just let it- Mm … be warm and feel sensation when it’s wet and, and feel wind. You can pull upward. So starting from the base with both hands, you’re gonna squeeze and pull upward towards the end with both hands alternating.
But when you go back down, if you’re going up and down, you almost relax, and you squeeze and you pull up, and then you relax and go to the base. Squeeze and pull back up. So there’s all these different ways that you can stroke it and maneuver it, and that’s where the curiosity and the playfulness really comes in.
I don’t know if anybody else has any tips. V, is there anything else coming to mind for you? You nailed it, girl. I am also thinking with the balls, I love just flattening my tongue-
Mm-hmm …
Vee: and then incorporating breath, like you said. And just like giving them the flat, flatness of your tongue, that can feel really good. And then humming as well, like with it in your mouth when you are phallus warming you could hum. You could do that to the balls as [00:50:00] well.
Elle: Mm-hmm.
Vee: But otherwise I think you really nailed it.
Elle: People can use toys too. Sometimes my partner wears a cock ring or, something to, to really help him be more hard, ’cause that changes sensation for him, so- Mm-hmm … you could do whatever you want. And people use their feet, people use other body parts like you said. You can use your ass cheeks.
Like whatever you want. It… the sky’s the limit.
Vee: And you know what? You mentioning that actually makes me think of, so like we’re talking about this as a phallus worship, right? It’s a whole thing dedicated to them, and also I just wanna plant this seed that like you can incorporate this into your sex life as well.
So like maybe you’ve done a whole session like we’re talking about, and then when you’re just like having your normal sex life, right, the next night you’re both focusing on each other, like you can take a little bit of time- Mm-hmm … a little bit more time than you might typically, and incorporate some of these movements that don’t have to do with just like [00:51:00] the up and down motion to get to or- to orgasm or climax, right?
Mm-hmm. You can just really luxuriate in it for a couple of minutes before you get to, other things that are typical of your sexual acts.
Elle: But to get to your question, and that how does it end? It’s a great question.
Vee: Ha. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Elle: I, uh, I’m thinking of the times when I’ve done it, and it just naturally dissipates.
You just slow down even more, and I usually ask, “Are there any final touches that you would like to re-experience or enjoy?” And then that kind of signals, hey, I’m almost done, or the timer might be coming up. You can set another minute and say, “Any final touches?” So usually it’s just a conversation and slowing down a little bit, for me anyway.
That’s how I’ve experienced it.
Vee: And also, if they come to climax, they could finish then, or something that could be really beautiful, and again, healing, is like maybe they do climax and you keep going. Mm. And they’re soft, and they’re [00:52:00] in their refractory period, and you just keep like- Loving … loving them and touching them.
And then, like Elle said, I do believe it just comes to a natural end, even if you don’t have a timer set or something. Just like any kind of sexual acts or massages or whatever, it’s like, okay we’ve covered everything, and then you can go into cuddle mode and just, so I have when it hasn’t been a planned thing and I just go into phallus worship and it’s like, “Oh, that’s what we did now.” And then I’m reaching an end, right? And he’s not finishing or climaxing. I’ll just mm, like give, give a couple of final squeezes to his thighs and that area, and then I’ll just kind of like work my way up his body and just kind of like cuddle him next to him so he, feels loved, and it’s kind of like a little bit of aftercare and finalizing that beautiful connective moment.
Mm-hmm. So-
Elle: I love that you said that. I, I end with a couple kisses just directly to it, kissing it, putting my cheek on it. It’s just a little loving thing that you [00:53:00] would express in that way. Yeah, just kissing. Mm-hmm.
Vee: And sorry, one more thing. I forgot to say, sometimes you get fucking turned on. Yeah. And so maybe, and maybe he- we’re not focusing on his climax.
Maybe we don’t wanna put that pressure on him. Maybe he’s not hard. But you could also say “Hey, babe. I’m really turned on right now. I’d love to just give you a show,” continuing with that idea of giving. Mm. It’s like, “Babe, feel how wet I am right now.” Put his fingers on you. Mm. And then just grab your wand and give him a show if your partner is someone who likes to watch you and your pleasure.
So again, no pressure on him to perform at all. This is all for you. You’re like, “I just got so turned on touching you, playing with your gorgeous phallus. I just need to relieve myself now, and I just want you to watch me and my pleasure thinking about you.” And, like- Yeah … that could be a great way to kinda transition into something else, too.
Annette: I love that. I love that. Well, we’ve come to that time. [00:54:00] Can you give my listeners three things they can do tonight to bring this into their bedroom? Just quick things. You do this, and you’ll be off on your way and started.
Vee: Ooh. My number one is mindset, set an intention. So do you want to shower your partner with love?
Get in that mindset. That’s my first thing.
Elle: Mm-hmm. I would say, uh, when in doubt, always go slower. Always stay curious. Those are the things that will help the play be a little bit more on him and s- e- and take yourself out of it, right? You’re just focusing on that. Let me go, let me see how he will enjoy this movement.
Vee: Mm-hmm. And ooh, a third thing how to take it in… basically set the scene. Have a conversation. Yeah. Uh, yeah. Have a conversation and set the scene. There you go. Broach the topic. That’s, that’s a great way to get it started tonight. You gotta broach the topic. And then
Annette: this episode. And then this episode.
Vee: [00:55:00] There you go. That’s number three.
Annette: Well, can you tell my listeners all of the places they can find you for all of the good stuff, and of course, where they can, uh, find your podcast and start listening to it tonight?
Elle: Yeah, you can find both of us @girlsgonedeepod is our Instagram, and our podcast is Girls Gone Deep, and you can email us at girlsgonedeep@gmail.com.
And then V, you have some extras?
Vee: No. Okay. No, so you can find us by DM’ing us on Instagram, and you can find our podcast literally anywhere that you listen to podcasts. Mm-hmm.
Elle: All
Annette: right. So that’s it, guys. It’s simple. Just go worship a phallus tonight, and report back. Or- … if you’re the phallus that gets worshiped, I’d love to know what your first experience is like.
So let me know. You can drop it below this episode if you’re on my YouTube channel @talksexwithanette, or you can always DM me, or you guys love to email me your personal experiences, so don’t [00:56:00] hesitate to do that. Thank you both so much for joining me for this conversation. I’ve been excited about it, and you did not disappoint.
That is for sure. I feel like I learned a lot, and we gave a great… You gave a great how to… You give good great, great how-tos.
Elle: Thank you. Our pleasure, literally.
Annette: Thank you. 100%. Thank you for joining me, and to my listeners, until next time. I’ll see y’all in the locker room. Cheers.
Elle: Cheers. Cheers.
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