What to know when you go down
Oral sex has evolved from being just a man’s pleasure to a shared experience in the bedroom—unless she prefers otherwise, of course. What was once considered taboo is now a must-know skill. Thankfully, the secrets to pleasuring a woman with your tongue, lips, and more are no longer reserved for queer women. Now, anyone can bring a person with a vulva and clit to new heights of pleasure.
Here are 18 tips and tricks for giving a woman toe-curling oral sex. Want to dive deeper? Tune in to our Locker Room Talk & Shots Podcast on Clit-Oral Sex, and you’ll be mastering the art in no time.
1. Have a Conversation First
Before you begin, it’s crucial to have an open conversation with your partner. Ask her how she likes to be touched, whether she enjoys direct clit stimulation, and what her boundaries are. This will help you tailor your approach to her preferences. During the act, keep the communication going by asking, “Does this feel good?” or “Would you like me to do something different?”
2. Build Anticipation
Some women enjoy a slow, sensual build-up. Start with a passionate make-out session and gradually work your way down her body. If she enjoys breast play, take your time to tease her nipples with your tongue and lips, offering a preview of what’s to come. If she seems eager for more, you can skip ahead to the main event.
3. Focus on the Labia
While the clit often takes center stage, don’t overlook the labia. Gently spread her lips open and let her feel the warmth of your breath before kissing and licking the area. Experiment with different touches to see what gets the best reaction from her.
4. Master the Clit
If your partner enjoys direct clit stimulation, it’s important to be both skilled and attentive. The clit is extremely sensitive, so start gently and ask for feedback along the way. You can try different techniques, but always be open to adjustments based on her responses.
- Make Circles: Use your tongue to make slow, deliberate circles around and over the clit.
- Lick Up and Down: Alternate between circular motions and vertical licks for variety.
- The Figure 8: Trace a figure 8 pattern with your tongue for a unique sensation.
- Suck on the Clit: Light suction can be incredibly stimulating—just be gentle and check in often.
- Use Your Fingers: Enhance the experience by combining clit stimulation with finger penetration, if she’s into it.
5. Penetrate with Your Tongue
For those who enjoy penetration, using your tongue can add an intimate, erotic element. Slowly thrust your tongue in and out, paying attention to her reactions to find the rhythm she likes best.
6. Combine Techniques
Take things to the next level by stimulating her clit with your fingers while using your tongue for penetration. This dual-action approach can create an overwhelming sensation that leads to powerful orgasms.
7. Don’t Forget Her Breasts
If your partner enjoys breast stimulation, use your hands to play with her nipples while your mouth focuses elsewhere. This multitasking can amplify her pleasure.
8. Incorporate Toys
Using a toy during oral sex can add another layer of stimulation. Try a vibrator for her clit or a small dildo for penetration. Switch between using your mouth and the toy to keep her on edge.
9. Explore Butt Play
If your partner is open to it, incorporating butt play can heighten her experience. Use a well-lubricated finger or a small butt plug, but be mindful of hygiene—never use the same finger for both anal and vaginal play.
10. The Big Bang!
For a mind-blowing finish, combine multiple techniques: penetrate her with your fingers or a toy, use a finger in her butt, and simultaneously lick her clit and vulva. This all-encompassing approach can lead to an unforgettable orgasm.
11. Use Your Voice
Don’t be silent—let her hear your pleasure too. Moaning while you go down on her not only shows that you’re enjoying yourself but also adds pleasurable vibrations for her.
12. Compliment Her
A little flattery goes a long way. Compliment her on how she looks, smells, and tastes to help her relax and fully enjoy the experience.
13. Try 69
Mutual oral sex, or “69,” can be an intensely intimate experience. It allows both partners to give and receive pleasure simultaneously, and with some coordination, you might even climax together.
14. Pay Attention to Nonverbal Cues
Not everyone is vocal about what they enjoy, so pay close attention to her body language. If she’s arching her back, gripping the sheets, or moaning, you’re on the right track. If she’s tensing up or seems distracted, it might be time to switch things up.
15. Be Patient
Oral sex isn’t a race to the finish line. Take your time and enjoy the journey. The more relaxed and patient you are, the more likely she is to reach a satisfying climax.
16. Keep the Focus on Her
While it can be tempting to rush through oral sex, especially if you’re eager to move on to other activities, staying focused on her pleasure is key. Maintain eye contact when possible, and let her know you’re fully present and dedicated to her satisfaction.
17. Mix Up the Pressure
Experiment with different levels of pressure while using your tongue and lips. Some women prefer light, teasing touches, while others might enjoy firmer, more insistent movements. Pay attention to her reactions and adjust accordingly.
18. Don’t Neglect the Thighs
The inner thighs are highly sensitive and often overlooked during oral sex. Kissing, licking, or gently nibbling on this area can heighten her arousal and make the experience more intense.
19. Take Breaks (But Stay Close)
If your tongue needs a break, don’t move too far away. You can use your fingers to keep the stimulation going or kiss around her vulva, keeping her on edge while you rest. This also builds anticipation for when you return to her clit.
20. Cool It Down (or Heat It Up)
Temperature play can add a new dimension to oral sex. Try sucking on an ice cube before going down on her to create a cooling sensation, or sip a warm drink to add heat. Just make sure to check in with her to ensure she’s comfortable with the temperature changes.
21. Experiment with Rhythms
Varying the rhythm of your tongue movements can create waves of pleasure. Start slow and steady, then speed up, or try alternating between fast flicks and slow, broad licks. The change in pace can be thrilling and keep her guessing.
22. Tease with Light Touches
Sometimes less is more. Gently grazing her clit with the tip of your tongue, barely making contact, can be an incredible tease that builds her arousal. Just don’t keep her waiting too long before giving her more.
23. Involve Her in the Process
Let her guide you by placing your hands on her hips and allowing her to control the movement. She might grind against your face or direct your head exactly where she wants it. This can make the experience more interactive and ensure she gets exactly what she needs.
24. Switch Up the Positions
Different positions can change the angle and intensity of oral sex. Try having her sit on your face or lie on her side. These variations can offer new sensations and help you find the perfect spot.
25. Finish Strong
As she nears orgasm, maintain a consistent rhythm and pressure. Sudden changes can disrupt her build-up. Stay in tune with her body, and when you sense she’s close, keep doing what you’re doing until she reaches her peak.
For a deeper exploration of these techniques and more, don’t forget to check out our latest episode of Locker Room Talk & Shots Podcast on Clit-Oral Sex. With practice and patience, you’ll be well on your way to mastering the art of giving oral pleasure.
