What Squirting Actually Is — And Why It’s Not What You Think
Most of what the internet taught you about squirting is wrong. Or dangerous. Or both.
You watched a video. Some guy jackhammered his fingers into a woman who may or may not have been performing. You walked away thinking squirting is about speed and force and making her body do something impressive.
It’s not.
Squirting — when it happens with pleasure and trust — is one of the most powerful releases a woman’s body is capable of. It’s also one of the most misunderstood. Most men chase it like a performance metric. Most women have either never experienced it, or it happened once and they were so confused or embarrassed they shut it down before they could enjoy it.
This guide changes that.
Five moves. The real anatomy, the real technique, and the one moment — one specific thing she’s going to say to you — that determines whether this happens or not. Most partners hear it and do exactly the wrong thing.
Let’s fix that.
What Squirting Actually Is — And Why It’s Not What You Think
Squirting means she came, right?
Wrong. And that misunderstanding is why most technique works against you.
Squirting — sometimes called female ejaculation, though they’re technically slightly different responses — is the release of fluid during sexual arousal. The fluid comes from her Skene’s glands, small glands sitting on either side of the urethra. They’re essentially the female prostate. They produce fluid that’s chemically similar to what’s found in male prostatic fluid — prostate-specific antigens, a distinct chemical signature. It doesn’t look or smell like urine.
Volume varies. A few drops, a gush, a flood. All normal.
Here’s the part that changes your approach: this release can happen during orgasm, and when it does, it’s often earth-shattering. But it can also happen without orgasm, just from pressure. And it can happen involuntarily in a way that isn’t even pleasurable.
Squirting does not equal orgasm.
If you’re chasing this as proof you did your job, you’re measuring the wrong thing. The goal isn’t fluid. The goal is creating conditions where her body feels safe enough and aroused enough to release something it’s been holding back for years.
Not every woman will experience this. Research puts the range between 10 and 54%. Some bodies are wired for it. Some aren’t. Neither says anything about her. Neither says anything about you.
Is Squirting Pee? Here’s What the Research Actually Shows
I get this question constantly. Let’s settle it.
During arousal, the bladder fills with fluid fast — way faster than normal urine production. The Skene’s glands dump their own secretions into the mix. So is there urine in it?
Often, yes.
And this is exactly where people get it wrong. “Has urine in it” and “is pee” are not the same sentence.
Real urine sits in your bladder for hours, collecting waste. That’s what gives it the color and the smell. The fluid released during squirting does the opposite — the bladder fills in minutes and empties in seconds. It comes out clear and diluted. Nothing like what you’d get from a held bladder. On top of that, it carries glandular fluid — prostate-specific antigens from the Skene’s glands — that isn’t present in urine at all.
Same exit. Completely different event.
So no. “It’s just pee” isn’t accurate.
But here’s what I actually want to know. Why is this the obsession? Intimacy involves all kinds of fluids from everyone in the room, and nobody demands a lab report on those. The second a vulva owner has an intense physical response, suddenly we need peer-reviewed studies to decide whether it’s acceptable.
That tells you everything about whose pleasure we’ve been taught to question.
The fluid is real. The experience is real. Whether you call it squirting, female ejaculation, or just her body letting go — the only correct response is to welcome it, not interrogate it.
Before Anything Else: Can She Get There With You?
Here’s the thing nobody wants to say out loud.
The biggest barrier to squirting isn’t your technique. It’s not her anatomy. It’s her ability to surrender control over what her body is about to do while someone is watching.
That’s different from being turned on. A woman can be soaking wet and still unable to let this happen. Because letting go means allowing her body to do something unpredictable, messy, and deeply vulnerable — in front of another person. That requires a kind of trust most sexual encounters never build.
If she struggles to orgasm with you at all, this is not where you start.
Start by taking every goal off the table except learning her body. Tell her: “I’m not trying to make anything happen tonight. I just want to learn what feels good to you.”
That sentence alone resets her nervous system. She’s not performing on a timeline anymore. She can actually be in her body.
Then bring in something that bypasses the mental loop she’s been stuck in.
A clitoral suction toy like the Womanizer Enhance (code ANNETTE15)
or the We-Vibe Melt (code ANNETTE15) delivers consistent stimulation so she stops worrying about whether your pressure is right or whether she’s taking too long.
For many women, your hands plus a toy that removes the guesswork is what gets them to their first partnered orgasm. Once her body has that map, everything in this guide becomes available.
Move 1: The Anatomy Nobody Taught You
Women have a prostate. Most partners have no idea. And it’s the key to everything.
The G-Spot
Front wall of her vagina, about 1–2 inches in, toward her belly button. When she’s aroused — truly aroused, not two-minutes-of-foreplay aroused — you’ll feel a patch of tissue that’s spongier, more rigid, more swollen than everything around it.
If you can’t feel it, she needs more time. Go back to external stimulation. Don’t rush this.
The Skene’s Glands
Sitting directly behind the G-spot, on the other side of the vaginal wall. When you press into the G-spot with focused, rhythmic pressure, you’re indirectly stimulating these glands. That stimulation makes them fill with fluid.
The more sustained and consistent the pressure, the more they fill. This is not a sprint. It’s a slow, deliberate build.
The Pelvic Floor
Here’s where everything either comes together or falls apart.
When enough fluid has built and her arousal is high, her body’s natural response is to release it. But most women’s instinct at that moment is to clench everything tight. Because the sensation right before this release feels almost identical to needing to pee.
Every instinct she has says hold that in.
But this release doesn’t happen through pushing or forcing. It happens through complete muscular relaxation. Her pelvic floor has to let go, not tighten. Think unclenching a fist. The fluid is there. The pressure is there. The only thing preventing the release is tension.
Your job is to understand that. Move 4 teaches you exactly what to say and do.
The combination that most reliably produces squirting: G-spot pressure from the inside + clitoral stimulation from the outside, at the same time. That’s the recipe. Everything else is refinement.
Move 2: Preparation That Actually Matters
One of the biggest complaints I hear from women about this experience? Their partner just went for it.
No conversation. No warning. Suddenly vigorous fingers inside her, chasing a response she didn’t ask for and wasn’t ready for. That’s not how you make this happen. That’s how you guarantee it never happens again.
The conversation comes first. Not in bed. Not during foreplay. Before you’re anywhere near the bedroom. You tell her what you’d like to explore. You ask if she’s open to it. And you make one thing clear: whatever happens — whether her body responds this way or not — you’re completely fine with the outcome.
No disappointment. No pressure. No “let’s try again next time” that signals she failed.
This conversation matters more than anything your fingers do.
Then prepare the space:
- Towels within arm’s reach — enough that she’s not thinking about the sheets
- Waterproof sheet set or throw blanket (code ANNETTE15)if you want to eliminate every worry
- Enjoy Water-Based Lubricant (code ANNETTE15) — lots of it, right next to you. This technique involves sustained internal contact. You need glide, not friction.
- A Good Toy Cleaner (code ANNETTE15) if you’re using toys — clean before and after
- Nails trimmed and filed smooth. Hands washed. Nitrile gloves if your skin is rough or healing.
You want her thinking about one thing: pleasure. Not logistics. Not laundry. Not whether you’re judging what her body does.
Get her fully aroused before anything goes inside. This is not a two-minute warm-up. Build blood flow to her clitoris first. Touch her thighs, her belly, her outer labia. Use your hands, the Womanizer Premium 2 (code EXPLORES15) on autopilot, or a Lovehoney Ignite finger vibe (code EXPLORES15).
Let her body tell you when she’s ready. She’s engorged. She’s responsive. She’s pulling toward your hand.
Now it’s time.
Move 3: The G-Spot Technique That Builds the Squirting Response
Here’s what most partners get wrong: they think this is about speed. They jackhammer their fingers into her G-spot like they’re trying to start a lawnmower and then wonder why she’s in pain instead of pleasure.
The technique that actually produces squirting is the opposite of what you’ve seen. It’s slow. It’s gradual. And it builds.
Find the G-spot. One or two fingers inside her, palm facing up. Feel for that swollen, spongy patch on the front wall. If you can’t locate it, she needs more arousal time. Let her guide you — she knows her body better than any diagram.
Begin the come-hither motion. Not a hard curl. A gentle press and release. Your fingertips press into the front wall, then release. Press, release. Same motion, same rhythm. Start slow and gentle.
You’re not forcing anything. You’re letting her body respond to consistent, focused pressure on an area packed with nerve endings, backed by glands that are quietly filling.
Keep clitoral stimulation going the entire time.
Your thumb if you can manage the angle. Her own hand if she wants control over it. Or — and this is where a SMALL perfectly shaped toy genuinely earns its place — the Womanizer Starlet (code ANNETTE15)
or the We-Vibe Touch (code ANNETTE15) delivering consistent external stimulation so you can focus entirely on what your fingers are doing inside her. You stop splitting attention. You start feeling everything.
If your hand fatigues — and it can, especially as pressure increases — a curved G-spot vibrator like the Rave 2 (code ANNETTE15) can take over the internal work. The curve targets the front wall at exactly the right angle, and the vibration adds something your fingers can’t produce. Some women find it gets them to the filling stage faster. You can see my full review here.
As she gets more aroused, two things happen. The G-spot swells even more under your fingers — that’s the Skene’s glands filling. And you gradually increase pressure and speed. Not suddenly. Gradually. The same climbing rhythm I teach in the edging guide.
Here’s where this diverges from standard G-spot play. The pressure for squirting is firmer. You’re adding more force to the come-hither motion. Not more curl — more pressure into the wall. For some women, this builds to a point where your whole hand and wrist are involved, pulling against her body rhythmically.
This is exactly why the consent conversation matters. This intensity can be painful if she doesn’t want it or isn’t prepared. Stay in communication. Ask if the pressure feels good. Watch her face. Listen to her breathing.
If she’s climbing, you’ll see the signs from my sounds guide: the breath catch, the flush, the involuntary hip movement, the grip change.
Keep climbing. Stay consistent.
And at some point, she’s going to say something that most partners completely misread.
Move 4: She Says “I Feel Like I Have to Pee” — And This Moment Changes Everything
This is the most important part of this entire guide.
As the Skene’s glands fill and G-spot pressure intensifies, she’s going to feel a strong, urgent sensation that feels almost identical to needing to urinate. She might tense up. Try to close her legs. Push your hand away.
She might say it out loud: “I feel like I have to pee.”
That sensation is not what she thinks it is. It’s the fluid from her Skene’s glands pressing against her urethra. It feels like a full bladder because it’s in the same anatomical neighborhood. But it’s not urine. And she’s not about to lose control of her bladder.
Here’s what happens next — and this is where most partners destroy everything they’ve built.
Her instinct is to clench. Tighten her pelvic floor. Squeeze everything shut. She’s done this every single time she’s felt this sensation, with every partner she’s ever had. And that clenching is the exact thing preventing the release.
The fluid is there. The pressure is built. The only thing between her and this experience is muscular tension.
So don’t stop. Keep your rhythm and pressure steady. If you stop, everything you built resets to zero.
Then tell her what’s happening. Calmly. Like you’ve been here before.
“That feeling is exactly what’s supposed to happen. You’re not going to pee. I want you to relax into it instead of fighting it.”
Those words matter more than your technique right now. She’s making a split-second decision between clenching and releasing.
What she needs to do is the opposite of pushing. She needs to completely relax her pelvic floor. Not bear down. Not force anything out. Just stop holding. Like unclenching a fist that’s been squeezing tight for years.
You can tell her: “Don’t push. Just let go. Stop holding and let your body do what it wants to.”
And then reassure her one more time: “I’ve got towels. There is nothing you can do right now that’s going to ruin this. Just relax. Be here with me.”
If she trusts you — if you prepared the space, if the conversation happened, if you showed up without an agenda — this is where all of it pays off.
She stops clenching. She releases.
For some women, this won’t happen the first time. The instinct to clench has been reinforced for decades. That’s okay. That’s not failure. She’s the authority on her own body. If she tells you she wants to stop, you stop. There is no timeline.
Move 5: When It Happens — Don’t You Dare Move
She lets go. The fluid releases.
And most partners do one of two things: they get so excited they change everything they’re doing. Or they pull back because they don’t know what just happened.
Both ruin the moment. Both ruin the orgasm that was arriving with it.
Change nothing. Same pressure. Same rhythm. Same angle. Same speed. Whatever you were doing the second the release began — that is now your only job. Hold it.
This release often comes at the edge of or during orgasm. Her pelvic floor is contracting rhythmically, synchronized to what you’re providing. Change the input — speed up, press harder, react to the fluid, pull your hand back — and you break the contraction pattern. The orgasm cuts short. The release she spent the entire session building toward gets stolen at the finish.
Hold the rhythm. Hold the pressure. Stay through every contraction.
Then keep going.
If stimulation continues through the release, some women climb directly into a second wave — a rolling orgasm that stacks on top of the first one. The Womanizer Premium 2 (code ANNETTE) held on her clitoris during and after release keeps external stimulation perfectly consistent while your hand continues inside her. Her body keeps receiving the same input. The second wave arrives without anyone doing anything different.
If you want to transition to penetration afterward, the FirmTech Cock Ring and vibrating RingMate(code ANNETTE15) helps you stay firm while the RingMate clamps onto the cockring and and provides hands-free clitoral vibration — so she stays stimulated without anyone stopping to rearrange the whole situation.
When she finally goes still — and you’ll feel it, her body will quiet — slow your contact gradually. Don’t pull out suddenly. She’s hypersensitive. Everything is amplified. Slow your motion to nothing. Keep your body against hers. Let her come all the way down.
Then tell her that was incredible.
Because for many women, the immediate aftermath of this experience is a rush of vulnerability. She just did something she may not have known her body could do. She let go of control in front of someone. Your words in that moment close the loop. They tell her this was safe. That she’s safe. That what her body did was welcomed.
That’s the part most partners skip. Don’t skip it.
Your Cheat Sheet
1. Learn the anatomy. G-spot (front wall, 1–2 inches in). Skene’s glands (behind it, filling with fluid). Pelvic floor (must relax, not clench).
2. Prepare. Conversation first — before the bedroom. Towels, lube, clean hands, no pressure attached. Full arousal before anything goes inside.
3. Build the response. Come-hither pressure on the G-spot + consistent clitoral stimulation at the same time. Start gentle. Climb gradually. Firmer than standard G-spot play.
4. When she says “I feel like I have to pee” — don’t stop. Tell her to relax into it. Don’t push. Just let go. Your words matter more than your hands in this moment.
5. When it happens — change nothing. Hold rhythm through the release and every contraction. Keep going for the rolling orgasm. Slow down gradually when she’s done. Tell her it was incredible.
The rule that overrides all five: She is the authority on her body. Always. If she says stop, you stop. Not every body responds this way. That’s not failure for either of you.
Tools that make this easier:
External stimulation — Womanizer Premium 2 (code ANNETTE15) on autopilot so you can focus entirely on your hands.
Womanizer Starlet (code ANNETTE15) for a compact, affordable air-pulse option that is just the right size.
We-Vibe Melt (code ANNETTE15) for app-controlled clitoral suction.
We-Vibe Touch (code ANNETTE15) for vibration that fits between your hand and her body.
Internal stimulation — Rave 2 G-Spot Vibe (code ANNETTE15) when your hand fatigues or you want to add vibration to the come-hither technique.
After — FirmTech Tech Ring & Rinmate (code ANNETTE15) for hands-free clitoral vibration during penetration.
Essentials — Enjoy Water-Based Lubricant . Pjur toy cleaner . Both within arm’s reach. (code ANNETTE15)
And don’t forget to give her the comfort of knowing the bed is protected.
Have a waterproof throw that you can pull out quickly and use on a bed, the couch, a chair or the floor without risk of affecting the furniture and minimizing cleanup, or a set of waterproof sheets you can leave on the bed. (code ANNETTE15) .
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